Sooner be infidels

Once more—what a rebuke is our text to those professors who dishonor the name under which they profess to live! The Spaniards in America acted so cruelly, and with such a dreadful lust for gold, that when they sent their missionaries to convert the Indians, the Indians wished only to know whether the religion that was taught them was the religion of the Spaniards; for if it were, they should like to believe something the very opposite! And if there was no Heaven but where the Spaniards went, they would sooner go to Hell than be with them! Truly some professors’ lives give much the same savor to the Christian religion. Men say, “Are these Christians, these mean, covetous, quarrelsome, domineering, boastful people? Then we will sooner be infidels than Christians!”

Spurgeon, Method and Music, Or the Art of Holy and Happy Living

Confessions of a gum swallower…

Don’t Swallow Your Gum!!

Some quotes from the story…

Several weeks ago, I purchased a fairly large quantity of Dubble Bubble for my daughter’s gum ball machine. The amount of gum I acquired was directly proportional to my own developed taste for the product, since it resembled crack cocaine in addictiveness. After originally buying the pre-filled gum ball machine, I’d proceeded to consume almost the entire contents in just a few short days…

Alas, I was destined for trouble. After consuming such a vast quantity of bubble gum, certain bodily processes started to become strange. My bowel movements rotated from frequent to nearly constipated for several days. For the life of me, I couldn’t predict at what point the need to crap would attack. When I did plop down to plop, both the defecation process and the subsequent wiping would seem almost…

Sticky.

This went on for another day or two. It was only then that an event occurred that would change my philosophy on gum swallowing forever.

I can’t use the hand razor I shave my face with, certainly; would I be able to shear my whiskers every morning while knowing where it had been? That microglobs of poo-gum were being ground into my cheeks and neck?

No, certainly not! I do, however, have a small beard trimmer that might do the job. It was only a few dollars at Wal-Mart, after all; I can burn it when I’m done. Alrighty then, pants off, left leg up on the sink, offending mass of bubble gum presented comfortably, mirror positioned on the floor to help me aim. Okay, razor on, let’s do this thing!

DEAR SWEET ZOMBIE IT’S STUCK!

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

New Design

Redesign…

I’ve decided to redesign the page; everything is redone, but still in my own personal style. The layout is based wholly on the Paaseiland design by Martijn ten Napel. I’ve moved some stuff around, tweaked some colors and added my own personal favorite piece of God’s creation – the human skull.

Leave some feedback, let me know what you think.

Peace.

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