work

I’ve admitted this to few people before and I think it would surprise most – I struggle with insecurity a lot.

Tonight I had a bit of a “break down” (now before you fire up your email to send an encouraging note – I’m fine, just keep reading). These past two years have been really hard for me and I have a lot of unresolved stuff that is rooted far deeper than the issues that have been most apparent since moving to DC.

Carrie patiently took the time to remind me of things that are true and point me back to the only secure place that I have which is in Jesus Christ.

It’s true though, every bit of my insecurity comes from a lack of faith in Christ. When I feel like the “weakest link” on the team, it’s because I’m not trusting that God has called me here for a reason and it doesn’t matter if I am the weakest link or not. When I feel justifiably alone it’s because I’m forgetting that I’m not alone. (“I am with you always…” – Jesus) When I feel empty and suspect that I’m failing at life because I still get caught in sins that have held on since I was in junior high it’s because I’m forgetting that God already has an end that He’s set out for me and I am still only in process towards it.

I may still have days that I feel insecure – actually, I’m sure I will – but tonight a short praying and being open with God about disappointments and pain led to security that is sure.

To end this too-long post I’ll share the passage that was the biggest help:

¹² For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body— Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

¹⁴ For the body does not consist of one member but of many. ¹⁵ If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? ¹⁸ But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. ¹⁹ If all were a single member, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” ²² On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, ²⁴ which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, ²⁵ that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. ²⁶ If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

The image is the Proclamation by G C Myers, one of my favorite artists. Used sans permission.